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eclair
dimanche, mai 27, 2007

Therapy.

The moon was up high in the dark sky,
it isn’t lonely tonight,
accompanied with one, two, three…
stars blinking,
making themselves known.

So many wonderful things had happened yesterday. I wanted to blog it all down but apparently something happened that made the goodness seem so vulnerable and the bad just took over the day.

Okay let me try recalling.
Yesterday was such a lovely day because firstly I went out with leong to kc first for some fun fair. It was of no fun. We just walked one round around the school compound and we went off. We went to cineleisure, where I bought 1 top 3 pairs of earrings & I pendant. Anything else? After which we went to marina and I bought a wallet like finally. I tried on the levis shoes I had been eyeing but had no money to pay for them ): BROKE BROKE BROKE. I swear im gonna be back to get them at the end of the hols! Wait for meeeeeeeeee! the sales assistant threatened that, that was the last pair of that size. Ghhhh $.$ leong had to go off early so I went to meet the girls for dinner instead at siglap. They were like idling around in the playground. Sad sad ): ALL ATTACHED. And see what it does. Many sleepless nights, many assumptions. So we stayed there a while den we were off to eat dinner. After that we went to ecp. ((: we were given a lift by ple’s romantic parents. Just makes me wonder. Ghhh we lay on the sand and started blasting music den we went to play with the water. It really felt great. Went to gelare after that, many thanks to the treat &

Suddenly daddy started calling ard 9. like blah. Always got reaction time when I see him calling. Zz I walked as fast as my legs could carry me but I didn’t run. & all I came home to was nothing but him ignoring me saying hello. He is ________. So that’s it. Not long after, my almost perfect day came crashing everything into small tiny pieces. It doesn’t hurt anymore. Don’t worry. It doesn’t mean anything anyway. Cause you mean nothing to me and I don’t want to mean anything to you.
While I was sorting things out, father just had to come in and shout at me because I was chatting on the com. So fine, I got off the com and switched to my hp. What difference does this make anyway? Your electricity bill? He kept coming in to check whether I was sleeping. What crap.

& today when im supposed to be out with qi mak and hm, he wont allow. My mother says the reason he doesn’t like me being out late is not because he doesn’t trust me, but its because he don’t trust the people out there, irresponsible is what he describes them as, obviously referring to the simei accident. On a positive note, he just loves me and wants to protect me. Convincing?

Therapy needed again.

Everything is so vulnerable.
One push, just one,
And everything built would just
____ and fade away
Like it had never happened before.

I don’t know whats love. Ive never been in love. And Im sure I wouldn’t know the meaning of love even at the age of 80.

will you won't you, be the one i always know
when i'm losing my control, the city spins around
you're the only one who knows, you slow it down.


♥ 11:48 PM